Ciel Doesn't Take Bad News Very Well
by M.Hunter Traubel Trainee
Summary: Ciel gets a phone call from Zero, and she doesn't respond too happily to Ragnarok firing on Neo Arcadia. This is a parody of the Robot Chicken skit on Star Wars. Rated M due to Ciel's EXTRMELY foul mouth.


I've been watching the Robot Chicken Star Wars skit a little too much. That was how I was inspired to read this. I hope you guys find this humorous. Enjoy! I apologize for the writing style, this wasn't supposed to be anything elaborate, just purely for humor.

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Ciel, the Operators, or Zero. They are copyright Capcom. I also do not own this original idea, it was originally derived from the skit show, Robot Chicken._**

**_Ciel is OOC (Out of Character) for humor purposes here._**

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**Ciel Doesn't Take Bad News Very Well**

The two operators laughed as Ciel explained her story once more. "And so I threw my computer at him. The whole thing, it's a true story!"

The first operator grasped her stomach as she stifled her laughter. "Oh my god, that is so funny."

The second one, who had a carton of milk in her hand was choking in the middle of her laughter. "Milk is coming out of my nose…" She said while laughing…

Ciel chuckled lightly. The memory of that humorous event was still fresh in her mind. Her communicator suddenly rang, and she picked up the small phone-like device and checked the caller ID.

"You have a call from…Zero." The phone said robotically.

The scientist sighed. "Hold on girls, I got to take this." She pressed a button and pulled the comm. device to her ear. "Zero, what's the situation?"

**THIS IS ALL GOING TO BE CIEL TALKING, BUT I'M BREAKING THE RULES OF WRITING HERE TO MAKE THIS MORE HUMOROUS.**

She raised her hand in a 'slow down' motion. "Wait wait wait, slow down. WHAT?" She stood from her chair. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY BLEW UP NEO ARCADIA?!" The operators jumped in surprise as Ciel suddenly cursed and slammed the table.

"FUUUUCK!" She screamed, slamming both fists onto the table like a child having a tantrum. "OH FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUCK!"

She removed her balled fist from the large dent she made in the table and pulled the communicator back to her ear. "WHO'S THEY?!" She screamed into the phone. "WHAT THE HELL IS A CARDEROCK?!"

She sighed in exasperation and placed her hand to her forehead as she slumped into the chair. "Okay okay, so who's left?" She asked with irritation.

The operators jumped back once again when Ciel suddenly slammed her fist and nearly launched herself forward. "ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! WELL WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Ciel paused, a look of disgust forming on her features. "Wait a sec…You've been running up and down a tower for two weeks while under an artificial sun?" Her features frowned at the thought. "Oh you must smell like…socks soaked…slippery…stinky sweat…"

The operators looked at each other in shock as they continued to listen to their commander's conversation. Ciel suddenly pulled the communicator away from her ear in surprise, but placed it back quickly. "Oh oh oh, I'm sorry…" She shouted. "I thought that my HERO WHO KILLED A BALD MANIAC WITH AN ASS FOR A CHIN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT TIMES COULD STOP AN OLD MAN WITH A LASER GUN!"

She slammed her fist once again. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN BEAT THOSE EIGHT BITCHES YET!" She shook her head in her hand, the phone still on her ear. "Do you…Do you have any idea what this is going to do to my reputation?"

A loud beep caught her attention. "Auugh, hold on, I got another call." She tapped another button on her comm. "WHAT?! I'M VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW!" She screamed as she slammed her fist.

Ciel paused. It was her friend, who was at a magazine store. "Oh…" She said calmly. "Well, what do they have?" She paused, listening to her friend go through the choices. "Alright um…Just get me a 'Zero: exposed'" The operators once again shared a glance, both with quizzical and a slightly disturbed expression. "Um…SigmaX I guess…I-I'm not even gonna read it…"

The scientist stopped and turned her chair around. "W-W-W-What are you getting?" She giggled. "Yeah, you see I always order the wrong thing." Again, another pause from the scientist. "N-No, I'll stick with that." She turned her chair back and leaned on her desk. "Okay, bye. W-What? Oh, Uh...Wild Zero, Thanks."

Ciel ended the connection and resumed her conversation with Zero. She sighed, tapping her fingers against her dented desk. "Sorry about that." She raised her head. "What?"

"Oh oh, just go get them?!" She shouted sarcastically. "Oh yeah yeah, REAL FUCKING ORIGINAL DUMBASS! AND WHO'S GONNA GIVE THEM INSURANCE ZERO?! YOU?! YEAH, YOU GOT TEN BILLION ZENNY IN THAT WHITE THONG OF YOURS?!"

Ciel shot up out of her seat and placed her phone right in front of her mouth. "NOW YOU GET YOUR SKINNY METAL ASS BACK DOWN HERE OR I'LL TELL EVERYBODY WHAT A WHINY BITCH YOU WERE ABOUT 'IRI-ANA' OR 'I-TOY' OR WHATEVER THE HELL HER NAME IS!" She screamed at the top of her lungs with exasperation.

She stopped and pulled the phone close to her ear. She covered it and looked to her fellow operators. "Oh jeez, he's crying." The three operators couldn't help but laugh, it was hard to imagine Zero crying due to Ciel's outburst. "Look, hey, hey, hey," Ciel started, trying to hide her stifled laughter. "C'mon, don't do that. Jus…Look, I'm dealing with a lot of crap now. Neo Arcadia being blown up by a fucking old man, you know. I didn't mean to snap." She paused, and suddenly sounded soothing like a mother. "Oh…oh…just get back here. Okay, bye I…" She paused and looked at the two operators.

Ciel turned away slightly and cupped the phone to her mouth. "I love you too."

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Well, I hope you guys lolled at this piece. See ya later, and please leave comments if you enjoyed it! 


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